Three quotes hang on a brick wall in our Center, and one of them reads: “The body cannot go where the mind has not gone first.” I’ve spent a lot of time looking at this poster and thinking about what it means and if I still think it’s true. I do. Mostly.
CONTENT WARNING: Physical abuseThis poem was written by Thrive co-founder Lindsey Ross during our weekly Writing Reconnection group.I pride myself on not being scared of anything.He would kneel on me until I could hear my collar bones and ribs snap under him. Sinking deeper. Forcing my body hard into the ground beneath. My body I no longer owned. The body I stopped owning years ago.He would hold my head still while he would yell into my “Stupid Broken Ears.”I pride myself on not being scared of anything.He would leave me in stores when I took too long looking at tangible things that brought me little sparks of joy. He would drive away no matter where we were. I got great at walking.I pride myself on not being scared of anything.He would drag me across our spotless, perfect home. Not home. Cage of nightmares. By my perfect, long dark hair.He would put bags over my head just to see me struggle. Sometimes they would smell like the stores he’d leave me at that bring me little sparks of joy. I pride myself on not being scared of anything.I pride myself on not being scared of anything.I pride myself on not being scared of anything.I’m not scared of anything.I’m not scared.I won’t be scared of anything. —Lindsey
When we began our journey as Empowerment Self-Defense instructors, we envisioned classes of adult women, sharing their life experiences and hitting pads with all their might. We threw ourselves into research on domestic violence, campus assaults, and trauma psychology—doing our best to ready ourselves for whatever experiences the women in our workshops might have had. But just a few classes into teaching, we got a call we didn’t expect: Can Thrive go into an elementary school and teach self-defense to children whose neighborhood has seen a spike in attempted abductions?
Dear Survivor,
A big part of what makes the holidays wonderful is the focus on togetherness, giving, and a spirit of cheer. (Also, cookies.) And while we value all these things, we have to stress an important distinction: Doing for others does not mean forsaking your own emotional or physical safety, well-being, or personal boundaries.
To the men who are constant reminders that abusers are just that, abusers. There are good men in this world.
Although working to prevent violence is a year-round job, there are three points during the year where our work feels especially urgent: April (Sexual Assault Awareness Month), October (Domestic Violence Awareness Month), and the start of a new university school year.
